Parenting as a failure

Parenting has always been a goal of mine.  I am not perfect at it, and believe me I have made my fair share of mistakes.  Today I had a moment where I wondered if it really is for me.  Each of my children have no drive for life or the things they enjoy.  I feel in some way they expect me to step up and perform for them.  I hate that as a parent every thing we do or don't do for our children is reflected on us.

Why can't the children be looked at and say, they didn't care enough, or they had no zeal for life?  Why is it always the parents fault or the way they were raised.  I know that I have tried to fix the areas I wished my parents were different, yet because I have weaknesses I am a failure.  I am not perfect, so why in the heck am I expected to raise perfect children? If my child chooses not to succeed can I still hold my head high, knowing it was their choice to do nothing with life?

We live in a world that is in such a fast pace.  In order for our children to excel in life we have to put them in more and at a younger age or they honestly can't compete with the other kids.  What happened to, "do the best you can"?  Does that mean I have to expect 100% out of my child every day?  No that just means if my child is only performing at 12% for the day! I have to show them it's okay to have an off day and to perform that 12% the best they can.

When we have off days, we need to recognize those instead of taking them out on our kids, so when they have an off day they can recognize it as well and know it's okay. Parenting is hard, and no one said it was easy.  Each of us are blessed with children that will be a trial and yet a blessing in their own unique way.  It is so hard to help each child become who they are meant to be, but maybe it's because we try to do it for them.

How many of you have ever asked yourself why you are on this earth?  From a gospel standpoint I could answer it quickly.  I am here to gain a body, to be tested, be baptized, to be married in the temple, repent of my sins, and strive to be better each day while helping others along the way.  Does that necessarily tell me why I am here?  Not me specifically.  I believe each of us have the same kind of journey we need to find but each of us have our own talents and strengths along with weakness and flaws.

If I were to give you my bag I was sent to earth with (talents, strengths, weaknesses, flaws) would you be able to accomplish what you were sent to do?  No, each person has a purpose in life, how many of you have ever sincerely prayed for guidance in this manner?  Have you ever asked our father in heaven what you were sent to earth to accomplish, so you can one day be perfected with Christ?  After talking with an individual about this today I felt I should ask my children the same question.

Maybe they aren't here to be the best dancer, ball player, musician, and that would lead me to ask, why are we devoting so much time and energy on doing them?  Do we let our children decide who they are?  I have let my children choose there interests because I have seen many people put their kids in activities they did and they expect 100% out of their kid because they feel they know what that kid needs to excel.  Does that truly help our child?  Does that give them the free agency that will help them to be independent?  Does it mean I am really helping my child if I let them choose, or would it be better if they sought out their purpose to help better themselves before choosing?

While failing as a parent today, I realized Joy can be felt.  Not in the big accomplishments, but in the little moments when you see your child you love and know that they are on the same kind of journey in life and they are performing the best they can.