Life is like a pile of laundry...

Life has always felt like a pile of laundry...there is always more added to the pile, the end can feel like it's in sight then you have to start right over,  if you put it off today you have twice the work tomorrow, and as a mother you never have just yours to worry about.

What does that mean, I hate laundry but it is always staring me in the face...I can totally relate it to my life...not about hating life, but at times definitely hating parts of it...I realized I am not the only one who feels the struggles I do, but maybe we feel them in a different way or your struggles may be easy for me but extremely hard for you.  I have reached the time in my life where that pile of laundry has really got to be done in order to move onto tomorrow with a smaller load to do.  My purpose isn't to make you think I am comparing myself to the ideal perfect woman because I know there really isn't one....some have great looks, others have great personalities, and yes we all want both.  I am doing this blog for me, so I can find that the me I was born with can bring me Joy, just by doing my best and accepting all that I am and have to offer. I don't believe that physical appearance is what I base perfection on, it's the whole package of how we see ourself . Somewhere in my life I just lost touch with the Joy in myself, and I appreciate all of you for seeing me for my good I can offer.

I guess the first step in my journey is to really focus on what my end goal is....where am I going to find the Joy in the real me?  Prioritizing goals may work. But after brainstorming over that pile of laundry I had today I realized all of my goals can coincide, and all I have to do is make a conscience effort to work on each one.   To do this I believe I need to make time for the most important goals, then add some other less important, then add the positive affirmations to fill in the cracks.

Easier said than done, when you are a mother you can't just focus on just you and your goals, but I know there is a way to juggle it all, have I figured it out? NO, but at times I have felt what it was like. At times I think we all feel that life comes easy.

I know we all have things in our life that make the struggles harder.  Each of us have objects or people that add to our pile of laundry...I am a mother who spends most of her time without any help, not necessarily by choice, but my husband's job doesn't give him the opportunity to be here a lot, in fact most of my married life his work has kept him away from his family for most of the time, a goal we are working on...we plan to have him with a job that allows him to be home every night, and it will be an adjustment for all of us but one I can't wait for.  Because of our situation I sometimes try to overdue it by replacing that which is gone, and let's face it no parent can be both, nor should we expect we can. There is a purpose to a father and one to a mother, I just need to be me and show my children that when I am doing my best the Savior fills the gaps.

I believe as a mother I can make some life goals that are attainable and just for me, I have set goals my whole life but never have had anyone to hold me accountable...I guess that's your job....:). I am going to work on putting my family and spiritual goals as the most important because I know as a mother and a daughter of my Heavenly Father that if I am truly working for that which I desire most I will feel more rewards...now how do I throw myself in that pile?

I guess I need to look in that mirror, the one who sees all my flaws and focus on the good...my step today is to find a strong point, and tell myself how wonderful it is...today it is my eyes.  I have always loved my blue color of eyes, I feel the color pops.  I love that I have long eyelashes when I have mascara on and it makes me happy when I look at them.  I may not be perfect but I do love my eyes and that's a start. That is more than I have said to myself in years, and although it seems like a baby step, it feels great to affirm myself there is something I can see that I love.